RANDOM THINKING   1 comment

I THINK ABOUT ALL THE THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT IS POSSIBLE FOR MANY OF US TO ENJOY. I CAN NAME SEVERAL THINGS I ENJOY DOING, BUT WHY TAKE ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME NAMING ANY OF THEM THINGS WHEN YOU PRETTY MUCH KNOW, THAT MOST OF US ALL ENJOY THE SAME THINGS IN LIFE.

 
IM A DREAMER YOU KNOW! THE KIND OF PERSON WHO CAN SIT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND DREAM OF ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS I SO WANT TO HAVE, WISH I HAD, OR EVEN THE THINGS I ALREADY HAVE. 
 
WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE????
 
YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, THE ONE WHO COMPLETES YOU?
 
EVER WONDER HOW MANY OF THE CLOSEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE THINK ABOUT YOU, WONDER HOW YOU ARE, CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS? ARE THEY HONEST TO YOU, KNOW MATTER WHAT? CAN YOU TRUST THEM? 
 
CALL ME CRAZY IF YOU WANT BUT, WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
 
WE ALL KNOW THE FEELING OF HURT DONT WE? WHETHER IT BE FROM NAME CALLING, EMBARRASSMENT, LOVE, OR LONELINESS, AND EVEN MISSING SOMEONE.
 
WE CAN BE SO HAPPY ABOUT EVERYTHING IN OUR LIFE AND ALWAYS KNOW AS LONG AS YOU ARE ABLE TO KEEP THE THINGS IN LIFE THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, YOU WILL STAY HAPPY. IGNORE THE THINGS AND PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE THAT TRY TO MAKE YOU UNHAPPY. 
 
SMILE AND LAUGH AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, THESE THINGS KEEP YOU HAPPY, FINDING THE PEOPLE THAT HELP YOU SMILE AND LAUGH, ARE TRUELY GREAT PEOPLE. 
 
I THINK ALSO THAT MAYBE I THINK TO MUCH… FOR TOO LONG….ABOUT THE SAME THINGS…..MOSTLY ABOUT ONE PERSON;
 
 -IM LOST WITH OUT YOU
-I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME
-I WISH WE HAD MORE TIME TOGETHER
-HELP ME COUNT THE STARS
-CAN YOU HOLD ME CLOSE TILL I FALL ASLEEP
-I SMILE EVEN WHEN YOUR NOT HERE
-I LOVE IT WHEN YOU HOLD MY HAND
-I DONT MIND JUST HANGING OUT
-I WANT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO YOU
-IM REALLY GLAD YOUR BREATH DONT STINK
-IM GLAD YOU STILL KNOW THAT YOU CAN ALWAY BE A CHILD AT HEART
-YOUR AN AMAZING PERSON
-THE 49ERS SUCK WORSE THEN THE DODGERS BUT I STILL LOVE THAT YOUR OK WITH ME NOT BEING A FAN OF EITHER TEAM
-I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THE ADVENURE AND ENJOYMENT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME.
-CAN I KEEP YOU
 
THE LIST GOES ON….
 
YOU HAVE COMPLETED ME
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Posted March 14, 2013 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

Somewhere I can be free   1 comment

I’m sure when you think of a place you can be free you may think, “ Man I can think of a million places.” Some may feel that going to the bath room is ones only free moment of time, but then suddenly you have someone knocking at the door wanting you to hurry, or you suddenly noticed when you look down toward the door you got a set of little tiny fingers poking their way under the door and giggling noises coming from the other side.

 Boy I cant imagine not having a place to just be free for a moment of life.

 How’s that walk on the beach moment at sunset sound? Oh, with the warm breeze just brushing by you as the wave crashes at your feet? What a pretty free feeling.

 Some moments are ones you experience only once and others you may experience all the time.

 When I think of somewhere I can be free, I think of the time I spend wrapped up in his arms. It’s a great escape in reality.

 Better then the sunset for sure…

 I am free from my worries, my scattered thoughts about work and school.

 That moment of crises just faded away when just hours before I couldn’t handle it. You placed me in your arms and I was free.

 Love isn’t just what you give me……..its only part of it.

 You gave me happiness, laughter, warmth and life.

 There’s more…..believe me.

 I know you understand me, its weird, I know, but you get me more then anyone, it comes so natural in a way I sometimes feel swept away in the one place I only want to be.

The seven wonders could never compare to how great it is to just be laying wrapped up in your arms.

 

Posted March 5, 2013 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

The Edge   Leave a comment

Its easy for some of us to stand over the edge of a cliff, to look down toward the ocean with out the fear of falling and for some of us, we have the fear that the edge is to much to take and even seeing one standing so close will frighten you to the point your heart starts to race and your hands become sweaty.

 

When I think about you and this love I have for you, I think of the edge of that cliff and how you felt as I was standing near it.

 

I can stand there on the edge of that cliff everyday looking down and not be scared of what can happen. Standing to close, I could fall to my death. I guess that’s the chance we take. I have wondered at times how it might feel to be scared to stand on the edge of that cliff and feel my heart race and my hands get sweaty. To understand the feeling of falling and losing my life to that chance I wasn’t wanting to take because I was too scared to look.  

 

Today I can feel the edge you felt that day as I looked over that cliff, as you kept telling me to please don’t go closer, you couldn’t stand to see anyone so close. Your hands were sweaty and your heart was racing. I couldn’t understand why you felt so scared but today, I do.

 

I feel it every time I see you, every thought of you, and every kiss from you. That feeling of the edge gets me. Almost to the point my heart beats like its about to explode. I have to catch my breath when I’m with you and re-gather my thoughts.

 

It isn’t that I’m afraid of how I feel. I love how I feel. It’s the feeling of losing it that puts that feeling of edge on me. As I said, it’s the chance of the edge I have to take. I have to be scared, I’m going to be scared, and there is no way around it.

 

I believe in you. I feel you will keep me from losing my stance on that edge and falling, I believe in myself, to help you, in every way for us to keep me safe in the middle away from falling to short of the life I want to have.

 

I have had many people touch the edges of my life: friends, family, and even a lover at one point. They come and they go, scarcely leaving an impression. But you’re an uncommon person, someone who has made a great difference in my life. So it’s not surprising that I find myself thinking of how special you are and wanting us always to remain close.

 

The edge is great trust me, but its so much better to experience it with someone who is there to remind you to not stand so close but only close enough to enjoy all of it and at the same time keeping you safe from the danger of losing your stance.  

Posted February 21, 2013 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

Pop star or Rock star?   Leave a comment

Pop star or Rock star

Sure, some of the pop music and rock music is great. I definitely love music.

I can’t see myself being either one of them though.

I can’t imagine my life having a pop star or rock star life style. When I think about it though, in a way it can be. I’m just as busy as they are. I’m not out entertaining millions of people and touring the world. I’m an average person making a living though. Working just as hard as they do. Being faced with tough decisions just as they.

Everyone has a story line in their life. I’m not famous, but at one point in my life I mattered to many people, just not millions of people, but even though, these many people, they mean the world to me.

Regardless if I am or I am not, I dance, I sing, i party, I entertain, I speak out to be heard, and I am happy.

It really don’t matter what label in life you hold, it is who you become and what you have done in life to make an impression on someone. You dont have to be a Pop star or Rock star for that.

I do not have a fan club yet, but if you twitter me, you can follow.

Be blessed with that.

Posted December 13, 2012 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

How will the world end?   Leave a comment

 

How will the world end?

Is this a question I can answer? Probably not!

I can give you my thought in how I feel they way the world can end.

Us humans…..

We are destroying what has been given to us. Creating things and building things, adding on to the madness.

We feel the earth tremble, volcanos erupt, storms destroying our land just as violently as we are.

The humanity of life, most of the world don’t see the beauty of the land as some do. If I had a choice live millions of years ago when all we had, were our feet and horses to transport us.

skyscrapers are nice, but are they really necessary? NO!! humans build these to add-on for more space.

Do most people know that the weight alone from any means of building add-on to the weight of our planet.

Who is to know when the ground under our very own feet will suddenly just start to crumble. Oooh, wait it already has, hasn’t it.

Our earth has been around for millions of years, showing us signs of distress for thousands of years, but every one is ignoring it.

I understand humanity has gotten more complex and they way we live now require many materialist items, it something most of us are accustomed to.

I can see the world finally giving in and blowing its steam like the tea kettle over a hot surface, we all know its going to blow, but suddenly like toast from the toaster, and that little jack in the box, it just comes out when it pleases to surprise us.

We have to save our selves some how, but now it’s probably to late.

OR…….

Maybe the world ends for one single person at one single time. It starts for each of us that very second of conception, then, that very moment when your soul decides to leave, that’s the end as we know it for ourselves.  It could be just that simply. Can’t it?

 

Posted December 13, 2012 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

If i had $500 for any store   Leave a comment

 

How would i spend $500.

So i was thinking about the issue of having $500 to spend in any store and what i would buy with it. I thought to my self for a while. You would think it isn’t to hard of a question right. 

Well of course I’m going to just blow the money on everything that wasn’t for me. I would most likely spend it on gifts and cloths for my kids maybe even get an oil change on the car. 

For me im not to materialistic. I just got a new phone so i really wouldnt know what to spend it on. 

This is what I have. 

I ask my 10 year old daughter, Robbi, “if you had $500. what would you buy?”

She opened her eyes wide, with excitment of course. She says,”Justice”.

No not criminal justice…..

Justice is a girls pre teen clothing store at the mall. Its Robbi’s favorite store, may i say. 

Then she also said, “Ross”. (Ross Dress for less department store)

I asked her what she would buy.

She shouted in excitment “CLOTHES”.

Robbi wants more summer clothes. 

“SHOES and a hair crimper” she says.

I asked her one last time “Is that all you would buy?” 

“clothes and more clothes”

So now the, “why would you buy clothes” question.

Robbi says cause they are cute and they look cute on me. The clothes are pretty and everyone likes my clothes.

Well I can clearly see that my daughter and I are very different people, But only being 10, I can understand she isn’t understanding the morals of life and how much $500 has to offer. 

I know that I have shown her that thinking of others is also a great thing. We sometimes will see people standing along the road holding sign saying they are hungry. So we will go through a drive through and purchase some food. My daughter and my son will both hand the person the food.

She asked me once why dont we just hand them money like every one else does.

My statement to that was, “the sign says they are hungry, meaning they want food, so if they truely are hungry, they will take the food with out question.” 

Its the kindness that you give and share that leave that person happy. 

Im hoping that one day, when she is passed the “ME, ME, AND ME” stage she will have learned from those moments of thinking of others. 

 

Posted December 7, 2012 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

A botteld up memory   Leave a comment

Bottled up memory

Has the thought ever accrued to you that the possibility of keeping a memory bottled up can be a great thing?

Think about it!

If the memory is the greatest memory of your life, something so fantastic, you couldn’t let it slip away.  The only way of keeping it was to bottle it up.

Given the ability to transfer the memory into a bottle wouldn’t require a witch or a spell, just the ability to place it in a bottle. A bottle that is untouchable, unbreakable and safe from drifting away.

If I told you it were possible, you probably wouldn’t believe me.

It’s a natural born part of humans, the ability to forget about something, regardless of how great or terrifying the memory may be, we do have that ability to bottle it up. It’s the way you feel about that memory that gives us the ability to do this.

Do you ever have the thought of wanting to retrieve a bottled up memory? Maybe a memory you need to help you feel the same way you felt about that one fantastic time.

I try to think of it this way.

Ex:

(Today I saw my daughter receive the crown and sash, for winning the Miss America pageant.  This was a goal she had worked on for so many years. As I see the smile on her face, the tears running down her cheeks, and that moment of grace that swirled all around her; I suddenly remembered a day 18 years earlier, my daughter was 5, standing in a gown store trying on every dress in the store. She stopped dead in her track as she wondered around the store; her jaw dropped then rises, as I looked at her face, glowing so bright and seeing this smile from ear to ear. I listened to the sound of her voice tell me, “This is the one mama, the one that will help me win.” Suddenly I feel it, that feeling I had from that memory 18 years ago, that memory I had bottled up. As I look up at my daughter, it’s as if she is living that memory from 18 years ago, all over again.)

Memories are connected by different moments in our lives; when moments arise that trigger that memory, it is that moment which would be the moment of time where that bottle will open and that memory is released.

Given that you have learned how to open and close part of you to keep the memories hidden or safe is up to you, but it’s that part with-in you, which only you control.

Posted December 6, 2012 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

The fifth season I call Tranquility   Leave a comment

The season of Tranquility

We have a season for every part of the year on earth that represents the weather.

When it’s hot enough to cook an egg on the sidewalk, we call this Summer.

When the leaves on the trees turn yellow and red, and begin to fall, we call this Autuam/fall.

It starts to rain, then pour, and at times, it sounds like there is a war in heaven, as the warm and cold come together, to cause the sound of thunder in the sky. Then shortly later, snow falls like ashes, covering us with a white cold blanket. We call this Winter.

The blanket melts, and the trees turn green, flowers bloom and the air is warm Birds are chirping, and the air is filled with bees. We call this Spring.

During the seasons of the earth we celebrate birthdays and holidays, but yet every thing seems to be crazy and nothing seems to be settle or calm.

People rushing around to make the final sale of the day. Trying to be the first to get the toy off the shelf, for their child who wants it for Christmas.

Do you ever stop to wonder if there can be a time where the earth can stand still? To just be calm, and everyone can enjoy the world as a calming relaxing place, peaceful like the warm breeze flowing through the air. Not like a family vacation but a time every one can enjoy it.

No work, no reason to rush around to prepare for a holiday gift shopping and dinners. To get boards to board up the windows of your home because there is a big storm headed your way.

A time where the whole world put all matter aside to enjoy the bliss of nature. To feel free and un afraid of being late for work. A time where sickness and health was never a problem. To have no worries in mind of running late for work,to make the money you need to live, and to feed your family.

Let the sky be clear the air be clean and free. The sun to warm enough to keep the ground just right to walk on bare footed.

A time where the music played freely and we all danced in the street.

No traffic, trains, buses, or planes.

Just Tranquility.

Posted November 30, 2012 by rengri81 in Uncategorized

How do you view your life?   Leave a comment

If you were asked to view your life in one of eight ways, choosing between; A journey, a battle, the seasons, a novel, race, performance, carousel, or a stroll in the park, how would you answer that?

Is this really a question with only one answer?

My life and anyone else’s life in this matter, isn’t going to just have one way to explain how they view their life.

I mean as I can clearly say, if you have lived, you will have had a battle, you will have had a race to win or lose, whether it be for class president, or to fight the chances of time to an incurable disease.

Right there you have had a battle and a race.

I view my life in all eight ways.

I have seen a battle between myself and life. The decisions I have had to make to get to where I am today. It has been like a carousel. Kind of like the definition of insanity, from what Albert Einstein defines insanity; “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” You get on a carousel and it just does the same thing over and over.

There is a point in life where you have to not give in to going on the same carousel and change the ride. I wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t made that change.

When you think about the seasons to compare to your life, we all have them, it rains and it pours in the winter, well when you down and out you cry. When you feel like nothing really is working out and it seems like it’s never ending, it feels like it pouring. Sounds like fall and winter storms to me. We all live that at one point.

There’s that point where the sun has just seemed to shine down on you and you have all you ever wanted, job, money, family, love. Kind of sounds like spring and summer doesn’t it?

How well you do your job and how hard you work on doing things in order and in the right way that people notice you as the one they can rely on when all else fails, to me that’s the performance part of your life the way you keep it together how great you are at it. People admire that quality.

The things we do and things we continue you to do to keep your life going and maintain the way in only you need it to be and nobody else, that’s your journey. How did you get there? Your journey through the years of life and the things you have learned and lived.

Your novel is your life and everything put together in one sum. What a book that will be. Hard cover or paper back, it’s your choice.

I have a journey to fulfill. I have fought a battle. I live the seasons. Every day is a race. My performance gets me closer to my success. The carousel is needed from time to time, my novel has many sagas. For some, it’s just a stroll in the park, but me I’m just testing the grass in the park with my bare feet.

Posted November 29, 2012 by rengri81 in Uncategorized